Reading Kafka on the Shore II

There's so much to write about this book that I wonder if I will be writing even more postings as I continue to read. I'm only halfway through it and yet I find myself pausing ever so often to reflect about what Murakami wrote. This book is a gem indeed, I'd say even better his what I thought was his most representative work "The Windup Bird Chronicles".

Here is another conversation between the character Oshima and Kafka Tamura on Aristophane's speech on male/male, male/female and female/female. As all good librarians should, I tried to get hold of a copy of Plato's "Symposium" or "The Banquet" from where Murakami took the idea from and verify. Unfortunately, our library doesn't even have one copy - the only one we have is stored in the warehouse... So as all good librarians should, I tried the internet and sure enough I get a good translation.

Here's the extract:
Each of us when separated, having one side only, like a flat fish, is but the indenture of a man, and he is always looking for his other half.... And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and would not be out of the other's sight, as I may say, even for a moment: these are the people who pass their whole lives together; yet they could not explain what they desire of one another. For the intense yearning which each of them has towards the other does not appear to be the desire of lover's intercourse, but of something else which the soul of either evidently desires and cannot tell, and of which she has only a dark and doubtful presentiment.... There was a time, I say, when we were one, but now because of the wickedness of mankind God has dispersed us, as the Arcadians were dispersed into villages by the Lacedaemonians. And if we are not obedient to the gods, there is a danger that we shall be split up again and go about in basso-relievo... - From "Symposium"/Plato, translated by Benjamin Jowett http://classics.mit.edu/plato/symposium.html

This is a really interesting thought. Do people and should people spend their lives searching for their missing half? I think about how people often call their spouses "my other half", and how people often think there's always this perfect man/woman waiting for them in the world, and I can't help but wonder if this is how finding a partner works, then there might be less divorces in the world, but also more singles hanging around waiting for their halves to appear.

In a perfect world, everybody will be able to find a kindred spirit and live happily ever after. It's a romantic notion which I'd really like to subscribe to. But having been there, done that, myself, I know it's impractical and simply chasing an illusion to wait for the "perfect" half to appear. I haven't met such a half myself all these years and seriously, I don't think the human body and desires is built to wait forever... :-) (yup, I'm referring to sexual needs and biological clocks)

In "Kafka", Ms Saeki found her perfect half, but he died young and she ended up miserable for the rest of her life. So what happens when you really find your perfect half? What if he died, then your perfect half is gone!

My thoughts: To be happy, a person should accept herself first; be happy, comfortable and at peace with oneself, and to put something unchangeable/indestructible in the centre of her life (for me, I put Jesus/God; some people may choose to put certain values or other faith - the issue here is, if you put money, career or a certain man in the centre and revolve your life around it, your world comes crashing down when the central focus changes or is destroyed. I think that's why people commit suicide when they get dumped or when they lose their jobs). I see myself as a whole person whether my husband exists or not, which of course, doesn't mean I don't love him.

I've often thought how miserable I will be if CH (charming husband) goes before me. But people have survived after their spouses passed away, I know I can too. I know I wouldn't want CH to grieve for me excessively if I go before him. I would want him to be happy and if this means finding another partner, I would want him to do that. I know I will be able to take comfort knowing he has gone to heaven and we will see each other soon, but meantime, while the person who is still alive, s/he need to live well. Loving a person to me is to cherish every moment with him while he is around, and cherish the memory when he's gone, not cling onto the memory and be haunted by it. Learning to let go is also love and there's so much love I can give to others and accept from others while I am still living!

One life, live it well and live it to the fullest. Love heartily and give generously, that's something I tell myself all the time and which I try to live by.